Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Tuesday, January 18, 2005: M was supposed go out with L last night, but ended up not going. They didn't have any definitive plans, he was just going to meet her at his house and figure it out from there. He expected me to want to make love to him when he got home and when I said no, he got pissed and said he wasn't going then. He called her and said something came up so he wouldn't be coming over.

He doesn't want to believe that she wants something other than to be just friends. She keeps insisting that she just wants to be friends. However, someone who wants to be friends, does not blow the phone up, calling all the time. Plus, she wants to see him constantly. Hello?? Just friends but you want to see him all the time. Then when he has other obligations, she gets an attitude.

Now he's on the phone with her and she's telling him that he can do what he wants as long as he continues to say the right things. Yeah, but she doesn't want a relationship? Sure, and I'm a Swedish super model. So, whatever. I think he likes being the object of someone else's affections. It strokes his ego. He won't admit to it, but that's how he is. (He doesn't like what I'm writing.)

Then there is D. He calls me all the time now! Every day. Two times a day. Why are men so difficult to read? When I wanted him to call, he never did. Now that I'm neutral, he calls all the time. WHY? I don't want to go down that road again. It was fun once, but I'm not getting caught up in that mix again. I still want to be friends, but that's it. (Again, M doesn't believe that.)

So, back to L. I know women, since I am one. If she didn't want to be in a relationship, she wouldn't care if he called or not. I know because I contemplated being in a relationship with D so when he didn't call, it mattered. Now that he is calling all the time, it doesn't matter. (Yes M, I am being honest, otherwise I would pick up the phone when he calls.)

She wants to see him on Thursday. He can't because I'm having an Inaugural Party. It would be difficult to explain to my mom and sister that he's going out with his girlfriend. Somehow, I just don't think they'd understand. (No, I will not stop calling her that...she's on your jock, riding it hard. Deal with it.)

OK, on to some mundane things. If you hate the way that Ashlee Simpson sings (and I use that term loosely because you can't honestly call what she does, singing) please go and sign this petition. For the love of all things sacred, sign this petition. Hell, I can't sing and I know that. She needs to stop embarrassing herself and give it up. Someone needs to explain nepotism to her. She got where she is because of Jessica. No other reason than that. Jessica can sing (she looks like she's giving birth while doing it, but she still has a great voice.)

By the way, the site meter has risen substantially in the past few days. No one knows how to put Windows Media Player into a blog? It's not going to be the annoying kind that comes on as soon as the page loads. You would be able to choose to listen to music or not. Please. I'm begging. Shamelessly.

Mich

Want My Autograph?

Saturday, January 15, 2005: Imagine my surprise when I'm reading a weekly gossip column and I see this: Dear Ted: Sorry, Ted, but I have to disagree with one of your Do-Me Awards. I'm a 35-year-old woman who would do Eminem without the bag over his head. He's on my laminated list. Mich W - Florida

Dear Uncovered Chick: Then don't be surprised when he calls you names that make you want to rip his teabags to shreds.

Yep, that's my letter! The guy had made a comment that the only way anyone would sleep with Eminem is if he double-bagged. I happen to think that Em is one of the hottest guys and I'd do him in a New York minute. Had I known the columnist was going to print the letter, I would have added, "call me Emimen," along with my phone number!

I've been trying to add Windows Media Player to the site, but I cannot figure it out. So, anyone who reads this and knows how to do it, please post a comment and I'll email you for instructions.

OK, I know you all want to hear about M and L. This week has been quite boring between the two of them. All they have done is talk on the phone. I told him to make plans with her for this weekend, but he would not do it. He thinks I'm going to get upset again, but I've already told him that was a one-time thing. She ended up calling tonight but she's in another city about 50 minutes away. Hopefully things will pick up between them soon. It's sad when your wife is bored with things between her husband and his girlfriend.

One funny thing...she called and poured her heart out to him about how she wants to spend more time with him and that he doesn't seem to call at all. (He doesn't have to, she blows our phone up.) She went on for at least 30 minutes and on his end of the phone...dead silence. She asked if he was still there and he said yes, he was thinking. Of course, she asks what about, and he tells her BASKETBALL!! (Side note: he sprained his ankle a while back while playing basketball and hasn't been on a court since.) Well, that was the kiss of death. What woman wants to hear that after spilling her guts to a man?? I swear he was more romantic than that when I dated him. (Except the time his girlfriend broke up with me.) ;) I was mad when he said that, so I can imagine what she felt like.

I tried finding a non-porno, non-paid site for swinging, but I can't find any. Does anyone have any suggetions? If so, let me know.

Don't forget...Windows Media Player. Help me, please!

Mich

Shock and Awe

Tuesday, January 11, 2005: M's first date, didn't go very well, and it was my fault. Before he left, I specifically asked him how long he would be gone, and he said not late, that he would be home way before midnight. When 11:30 came and he still wasn't home, I called. He offered a lame excuse about not knowing what time it was. (Hello! They have this new invention called a watch. I don't think it will catch on in the mainstream, since it's only been around 140 years!) He left shortly after and called me on the way home. The fighting had started.

We ended up fighting until 2 a.m. M and I have two totally different ways of fighting. I fight, then I want to be left alone to think things out. M has to talk about things. Then he re-talks about things. Lastly, he re-re-talks about things. Get the point? For the past 3 years, I have had things my way, exactly zero times. I have to, no matter what, talk things out at that moment. I have learned how to answer questions without really answering them. With M, there is no tuning out, walking away, or saving the fight for a more appropriate time. No, we have to fight till the death. Even if it's 2 a.m. on a work day.

There are two things I dislike about M. (1) He has a hell of a temper. (2) He has a hell of a temper. He likes to have knock-down, drag-out fights. *Disclaimer: I am in no way an abused wife. I can fight with the best of them. I owe it to my Italian temper. I come from a long line of fighters. My grandparents, who were married 55 years when my grandmother died, fought all the time. But, they loved each other more than anyone I know.* He has also been known to throw things and punch holes in the walls. I on the other hand, hate fighting. It's a waste of time and energy.

I finally went to sleep a little after 2. I honestly can't remember why we stopped fighting, but we did. However, it wasn't the end of it. Oh no, we continued it Monday through emails. I got up and went to work, while M stayed home in bed. Our fight finally ended when I called him at 3 and apologized for being a bitch. I know I was acting like one, so I did the right thing and said I was sorry. That's where the shock comes in. He was seriously shocked that I called.

We have talked about some of the ground rules. First, we will be honest with each other, especially if something is bothering us. We will do everything possible not to upset the other person and if we can't, we will stop whatever behavior is causing the other person pain. Second, we will tell each other everything. No matter what. I hate being lied to, so when I called and he said he didn't know what time it was because he hadn't thought to look at the time, I went balistic. I would never think of saying something so ridiculous.

The sad thing is we didn't even have make-up sex. (Jerry: "Ya didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex?... That's the best feature of the heavy relationship." George: "Heh! I missed out on the make-up sex!")

I really don't know how this whole thing is going to turn out. Is there a manual I can consult? It's not as if I can reach out to anyone in our real lives. We haven't exactly publicized the fact that we have an open relationship. I doubt my strict, Catholic family would appreciate that fact. I know his family wouldn't because they don't even believe in homosexuality! Therefore, I am out in open water, swimming alone.

I don't have a problem with him dating L. He just can't sleep with her, nor can he spend more time with her, than he does with me. I asked him if he'd be going out with her this weekend, but I never got a definite answer. He likes to answer questions, with questions. He learned that from me! So, getting anything definitive out of him, is like pulling teeth. You know, like the molars that have grown around your jaw bone, and you have to have surgery just to extract them. It's like that.

(M is now laying here watching Da Ali G Show. I'm guessing by his fits of laughter, it is the first time he's seen it.)

M only talked to L for a minute because she was having company. He told her he'd call her tomorrow. I think he's scared to talk to her now, but I'm over it. I'm surprised she hasn't called back because she'd the type who blows up the phone.

For your laugh of the day, read about Randy Moss. No, not his antics in the end zone, but his hair. I'm glad it wasn't just me. I spoke to one of my friends, and he said Moss needs to "perm that shit." He needs to do something. Just because you're excellent at what you do, does not give you license to be that creative with your 'do. I don't care how much you make, it doesn't mean that you get to throw all sense out the window. Is he married? Does he own a mirror? What about his teammates? The coach? The water boy for god sakes! Someone have a sit-down with this man. Drug him, grab a Wahl clippers and for the sake of humanity, cut his hair.

I have spoken.

Mich

Entering a Whole New World

Sunday, January 9, 2005: OK, so I really get into reading other people's blogs. There are about 10 that I read regularly and I'm amazed by how much more interesting other people's lives are. So, I decided that I've been writing about the mundane happenings in my life. Crap, my blog is boring as hell. I get bored writing it, so I can just imagine what other people think! Therefore, I am making a change. From now on, it will be better. I promise. To start with, I have a strange marriage. Yes, up until now I haven't mentioned that I am married. I have been married for 3 years. One of our anniversary's was yesterday. You see, we actually have 3 different days that are our anniversary. The first, January 8th, was the day that we got married...at work! Yes, you read that correctly, I said work. We hadn't even been dating at that point, we were just making a committment to one another, in front of someone who happened to be a notary. Turns out, in the state of FL, that makes you married. Who knew?

Then, we have the 11th of January. The day we got the license and we thought we had waited the 3 day waiting period that is required by law. Turns out, we did it ass backwards. We had to wait 3 days AFTER getting the license, which brings us to our 3rd anniversary...January 14th. So, we have 3 anniversary's.

Now for a little history. M and I started dating on October 28th of 2001. We got married on January 8, 11, and 14th of 2002. :) We had broken up on December 26th, 2001. (Wait, I should say, that M's ex, also an M name, broke up with me.) When we started dating, he had broken up with M a few months before. However, they had some kind of sick, twisted relationship and they kept going back to each other. ThenI came along, totally oblivious to what was going on around me and one day, *poof* he's back with her, and she's breaking up with me. Ridiculous you say? Hell yes it was! However, I don't want to come off as a being a doormat. I wasn't. We talked and got some things worked out and decided to remain friends. Once M found out, she freaked. So, my M broke up with her for good.

Then, she really went crazy once we got married. She was beyond mad. Especially since they dated for 6 years and he didn't marry her, but married me after 10 weeks. She still tries to start crap between us, but we've managed to get over it. We've been through a lot in 3 years. Almost everyone but my mom and sisters has tried to break us up, but we always manage to get back together. We love each other and want to stay together, so we've decided to have an open marriage.

That brings me to the exciting part of my life. Right now, M is on a date! It's a little odd being married and having your husband out on a date, but I'm dealing. Plus, I have D so I can't get mad. (Speaking of D, he called last night and we talked for 2 hours.) It was weird because here I am in the living room, on the phone with D and M is in the bedroom on the phone with L. If it hadn't been one of our 3 anniversary's he probably would have been out with her. From now on, I'll be writing about the musings of a woman in an open marriage. With a little of the mundane thrown in. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. M is worried because I'm not upset. He thinks I'm holding it inside. Honestly, I'm not. I'd rather he do it out in the open, than do it behind my back. Besides, I have D and I don't want to give him up.

D...he called to say happy birthday, and we finally got some things out in the open. I apologized, he apologized and we're back to being friends. I look forward to seeing him again. Maybe even going to CT to visit. I really want to see snow, and I'm not going to get that in FL. Plus, he owes me a snowball fight.

Well, before I go, those damn Packers lost! What a game. I'm sick. I don't get to see them again until August. That's so depressing. But, it's not as if I was expecting them to make it to the Super Bowl, because they weren't SB material this year. 1997 and 98, they were, but they need a defense first. Let's have a moment of silence for what could have been.... OK, that's good enough.

Lastly, WTF was up with Randy Moss' hair?? Talk about bad hair day! He looked like Prince circa 1977. Dude, get some braids. Comb that shit. Cut it. Anything. You're scaring small children with that Buckwheat 'fro. Also, don't fucking do that fake mooning shit at Lambeau Field. Your team got lucky. Go Eagles!

Mich

Happy Birthday To Me!

Tuesday, January 4, 2005: I can't believe that I'm 36-years-old! I still think of myself as 17. I guess I have to come to grips with reality. I actually don't feel or look my age, so that's a good thing. I had a pretty uneventful day. I had to work, so that took up 10 hours of my day. Then we went to mom's for dinner. K made me a birthday cake and I got two gift certificates and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD from A. Now I can't wait to watch it.

Right now I'm watching Amber Frey on "Dateline". Blah, blah, blah. What kind of person sleeps with a guy on the first date? Then, has that perfect stranger pick her child up from daycare? She doesn't know anything about this man, and she lets her most precious possession in his hands? She is quite possibly, the dumbest person on earth.

I'm having a hell of a time with W. That dumb fuck won't keep a job, therefore he can't keep up on his child support. So far, he's over $18,000 behind. I guess the only thing I'm able to do is fork out the $2,000 for a retainer and hire a lawyer. The WI Child Support system is doing nothing about it. I love their stupid commercials about how tough they are on dead-beat dads. Wow! That's the funniest thing I've heard in years.

M and I decided that we were going to exchange gifts next week. I have to think of something to get him. I already know he's getting me the bracelet I asked for from Tiffany's. :) I'm pretty lucky, hey?

I'm tired and want to go watch Amber Frey. After all, I'm 36 now, so I need all the sleep I can get.

Mich