Desperate Housewife

Wednesday, September 28, 2005:
Up until today, that is what I was. A desperate wife. Today, I finally learned that I should not miss Mike; he should be missing me. He has gotten to me for the last time. He is not worth the depression and misery that I have put myself through for the past 6 months. He's losing someone good; I'm not. He's been arrested and in prison before. His latest arrest was just last month. His girlfriend was arrested, too. Great couple, hey?

I was driving in my car today, on my way to pick up Brianne. For once I didn't have the music blasting so that I didn't have time to think. I always carry my grandfather's rosary with me, so I decided that I would say it.

When I was in grade school, we had to go to mass every day. So, by the time I was in 8th grade, it really didn't mean anything to me anymore. (I know, what a terrible thing to say!) But, if they wanted us to appreciate it, they shouldn't have made us go daily. Anyway...when I was saying the rosary, there was a calmness that came through my body. It was from the inside out. I don't recall ever feeling that way before. It was as if God was in me, taking away all of the pain I had been feeling. I'm not some kind of religious fanatic, but I do believe in God and some days that is the only thing that keeps me going. Knowing that one day, I will be able to see my grandparents and all of the people who will and have died before me, makes me happy. I didn't get a chance to tell my grandmother I loved her before she died because it was an unexpected death. I have told her plenty of times in the past 16 years (dang, I can't believe it has been THAT many years.) so I'm sure she knows.

After praying and thinking, I decided that I was through with feeling bad. He will not get one more minute of my life.

Now, for the most awesome news: my fabulously funny, beautiful sister, Kim is getting a tattoo! I feel so proud. Now, if only she would date a black man, my revenge would come full circle! She knows who/what I'm talking about. If not that, how about nipple piercing, Kim? That would send him off the deep end sooner than you can say, "Conan O'Brien!!"
Ciao,

Mich