Men Suck Ass

Thursday, September 8, 2005:

So, Josh ran away, like a baby. I have no idea what I did because he wasn't man enough to tell me. Instead, he acted like a child and ignored my calls and email. Oh well, his loss, not mine. I don't want friends like that. I also wasn't looking for a relationship with him. I am still married, no matter how Mike acts, and I certainly don't feel like going through crap again. So, I should be thankful that Josh is a pussy. Good luck to whatever women ends up with him.

I do have to admit, I left a message on his cell asking if when he said his grandma lived with him, by 'grandma' did he mean wife? I'm so glad that my inner bitch has been let out again. It's been such a long time since I've seen her and I had forgotten just how much she was missed. My new attitude is brought to you by the makers of Lexapro and Wellbutrin XL.

So, Kiki was sick and Mike took off of work to take her to the doctor. He called me after to let me know that they said to give her OTC cough medicine but that she doesn't have asthma or bronchitis. He then proceeds to tell me that he is planning on coming back, but he just doesn't know when. Wow. I had to slap him back into reality. Who the hell does he think he is? Did he expect that I would be thrilled with that and I would wait forever? Hell to the naw. I am not waiting. Life is too short to spend it with an ass. I really like the idea of being single. Going out with Josh, no matter how pathetic it turned out, made me realize that I can do a lot better than Mike. I don't have to down-grade like he does.

He has to go out with weak woman to make himself their saviour. I know that I was vulnerable when we met. I was all alone in a new state. All of my friends were back home in Wisconsin. I hated it here at first. My life went from going to all the greatest events that the city of Milwaukee threw and meeting influential people to being 33 and living with my mom! I was at a new low. Then I met Mike. We did things together. I got to go to clubs in Ybor that reminded me of home. We went out to dinner. Most of all, it allowed me to get away from my mom's husband. Lord, I could write a book of horrors about that man. Steven King would be proud, believe me.

Anyway, I liked Mike. He reminded me of...well, me. We had the same sense of humor. Liked the same music. It was like meeting a black version of my best friend Brian, who I missed a lot. I think I mis-took those feelings for love. However, I did grow to love Mike. But by then, he had done so many bad things, I don't know that I could have ever forgiven him. OK, maybe if he ever seemed truly sorry and didn't fuck up and make the SAME mistakes over and over. But to think that he's the be all and end all of my life, is very narcisstic on his part. Life stopped being all about him when I found out about Victoria and the fact that he's living with someone else. AND he totally cut Chiara out of his life. He's not a man. He's a little boy too. Josh and him would probably be the best of friends.

I'm really tired of some of the guys at work. Is it my fault that I get to be in the AC all day, working on a computer? No, it's what I'm qualified to do. It's in my job description. One jerk had the nerve to complain to the Assistant manager about what I do. Apparently, he thinks I just 'answer phones' all day. In between calls, I file my nails, give myself pedicures, and kiss ass. Again, hell to the naw. I work very closely with the manager. I do some of his job since he is traveling until Febuary of 2006. I know Excel, Access, Word and Power Point like the back of my hand. I've been doing the same type of job for ten years. If he has a problem with me, he should take it up with me and the boss. He however, should not talk behind my back. Or, if he does, he should close the office door and make sure I'm not in the kitchen getting coffee. Dumbass.

Ciao!
Mich