Tuesday, December 26th, 2006: I've missed blogging! I don't have internet at home anymore (yes, I realize it is 2006 but my computer is broken, so I had the internet turned off.)

So much is going on...Mike and I are back together, but I don't think it will be for much longer. We fight all the time and he wants to still act like he's single. Almost every day I tell myself, 'be carefull what you wish for.' It doesn't feel the same as it did before and I'm not sure I can ever let go of the fact that he cheated.

The girls are doing great! They got everything they wanted for Christmas and I have a new addiction...no, not black tar heroin, but SIMS. I can't believe I haven't tried this before. I know all my friends were doing it, but I never imagined it could be that good.

My other new addiction is "The Office". I love that show! Was there ever a better scene then when Michael marked his girl so he knew which one she was? Or Dwight up on the roof, throwing his phone after being told to abort the mission because he'd been compromised.

I'm still in love with Eminem. I got his new CD as a present but I forgot it at home on the bar stool. If only I could meet him, I know he'd fall truly, madly deeply, in love with me!

Mich

Neglecting My Blog

Saturday, June 10, 2006: Today would have been my 17th wedding anniversary! That is so weird to think about. I remember how excited I was on that day. I also remember how fast the whole thing went. If I had know it would fly by in the snap of a finger, I would have gotten married a lot earlier in the day. I'm very happy with Mike - we seem to be more compatible than W and I ever were. We can laugh at silly things and I genuinely enjoy being married to him. If only I could get over his cheating and having another baby with someone else. I try but at times it is just hard. I don't punish him for it; I just want him to understand how it effects me on a daily basis.

I have a job interview with a new place. I don't want to let everyone know where, but it is a place that I would be thrilled to work at. I've thought about it and it's something that I would love to do as a career. So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. They just posted for it on Wednesday, I put in my resume on Thursday and got the call on Friday. They must be really interesed since they got back to me so soon.

I need a way to make some extra money. I want to get a part time job at night, but Mike is worried it will cut into "our" time together. I want to get a house and I want more money in the bank especially our savings. I'm also trying to figure out something that I can do at home. Anyone have any ideas? Escort? If I had the body, I'd be a stripper!

Ciao,

Mich

Update...

Sunday, April 23, 2oo6: M and I are back together after a tumultous year apart. I had to deal with his crazy, ugly whore of a girlfriend. Isn't she lovely? That's her booking photo. I didn't think she could be worse in person, but she was. She came to court (for our visitation hearing) wearing boy clothes. She had on M's t-shirt, some god-awful jeans and tennis shoes. The topper, she had a head band in her hair, circa 1990 and Hilary Clinton! She's only 22, so you'd think she'd be more hip. NOT!

Honestly, I don't know how I got through it with my sanity intact. There were many times when I was suicidal and I needed to be put on more meds, along with anti-anxiety pills. Then, things slowly got easier and I was living life, enjoying it and moving on. I had to deal with the fact that he had visitation and I hated that part. One day, he had her and he called my cell and said he was coming back in 2 weeks, when I was set to move into my new apartment. So, I was nervous. OK, I was beyond nervous. To say I had anxiety was an understatement. I swear, I took more Xanax in those weeks, than I probably did in the past year.

Things are okay at best. M is used to coming and going as he pleases, and continues to do so. I'm keeping my options open because I will not get hurt again. My feelings are there, but not as strong. Everytime he does something else that hurts me or makes me feel as if I'm not a priority, a little of that love disappears.His son was born in either February or March. That whore left the state because she didn't want her current husband to know she was knocked up. That makes 4 kids by 4 diff3rent fathers. What a slut! Yet, M has the nerve to say that I was probably sleeping around for the past year. Honestly, sex was the farthest thing from my mind. I could have, but I didn't want to jump into bed with just anyone. I'm saving myself for Eminem!

Well, I'll keep you posted as to how things turn out. I'm not hopefull. I just take it one day at a time.

M.

Come Visit Me on MySpace.com

http://www.myspace.com/michl1904 Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

Also, let me know if this is too hard to read with my future ex-husb
and Eminem as the background.

Mich

Update

Tuesday, October 4, 2005:

I just updated this blog with entries from myspace.com's blog that I keep more regularly. It's hard to post in both places. My life is one big struggle to get through but I'm doing it one day at a time and one prescription drug at a time. Some days I don't know how I do it. Others, are much better and I'm on top of the world. Today is one of those days. I have the upper hand in the relationship with Mike. He's calling me again. Unfortunately, I lost a dollar to mom b/c she said he would call me (I think she even said a week) and she was right. He called me today.

Ciao,
Mich