Rest In Peace - Pope John Paul II

Sunday, April 3, 2005 Well, being that I'm Catholic, today was a very sad day. The leader of my church, passed away. I miss him as if I knew him. I cried today because he was truly a special man. He touched so many lives and had a profound impact on the world. We are all better for having him on Earth, whether you're Catholic or another religion. The thing that struck me, was no one had a bad thing to say about him. He's really the only Pope that I've known. Pope John Paul I died after only 33 days as the vicar of Christ.

To show my respects, B, C and I are going to church. It's been a long time since I've been there, but I do believe in God. If I didn't I doubt that I would still be here. Suicide is highly frowned upon in my faith. However, it does run in my family. My uncle tried several dozen times, before he succeeded in 1977. My mom tried many times, after my uncle died, and so did my aunt. Almost all of us are on the anti-depresant Lexapro. But its my faith in God that has gotten my through the rough times in my life. The passing of my grandma, grandpa, being a single mom for 4-years. Dealing with my mom's move, after almost dying from a heart attack, and even getting through 3-years of marriage to M.

So, today, I cried. Why, I'm not really sure. Grief, over the fact that Pope John Paul II had to suffer so much at the end of his life. But, he believed that in order to be rewarded in Heaven, you had to suffer on Earth. And that wasn't being all high and mighty. That was a humble man, living his life exactly how Jesus lived. I tried to explain to B what an impact he had on the world.I'm not sure that she completely grasped it. However, I will always teach her and C what kind of person he was.

I told M, I can't imagine having that much faith. It just blows my mind to think of it. So, when I talked to mom, she put it into perspective. He doesn't need our prayers, he's in Heaven, with God, where he always wanted to be. We need HIS prayers. We're here, with our daily trials and tribulations, and he's in Heaven, talking to God, Jesus and Mary. Why should I be sad because of that?? One day, I'll be there too. Reunited with all the people that I have loved that have gone before me. The first person I want to see, is my grandma and my mom. (If she dies first.) I've missed my grandma every day since February 6, 1989. I can not wait to see her again. I want to know that it was her or M's grandma that keeps turning on the TV in the middle of the night and the one who flickers the lights when I'm sad and missing her.

One more thing. Terri Shiavo also died this week, Thursday. After a long battle. I for one, thought her 'husband' (and I use that term loosely) should have allowed her family to care for her. He's gone on with his life. He has a fiance and children. Why couldn't he have given her up? There has to be a reason. Florida sucks because of the fact that she was allowed to be starved and dehydrated to death. We don't even treat animals the way she was treated at the end of her life. But, again, she's in Heaven, whole in mind, body and spirit. So, rest in peace.

Lastly, I want to pay tribute to Jessica Marie Lunsford. She was kidnapped, raped and strangled by a piece of trash. I won't even type his name. If anyone deserves to go to Hell it's him. He took her from her own bedroom, in her house. The one place, we always teach our children that they'll be safe. It's not fair, that her life was only 9-years long, while the piece of crap got to live his life, up until he was arrested. You will never know how sad I was when they announced that he confessed to her murder and told them where he hid the body. M was driving in front of me, and I was crying hysterically. He called me on my cell and asked what was wrong. I told him that the bastard had confessed and that Jessica was dead. He paused for a few seconds, and let it sink in. Then he said that B will not be going outside any time soon. Rest in peace.

Yes, she's in a better place, but her life was taken too soon. She's never going to know the joys of falling head over heels in love; having kids and how the love that you feel for your own children, is so profound and intense that nothing can prepare you for it. At times, it takes your breath away. It makes your heart beat faster, and swell with pride. Your heart also melts when they tell you they love you for the first time. Today, B came home from having her hair done, and when I told her that the Pope had died, she started to cry. C went up to her and wiped the tears with her pajama top. She loves her big sister so much. She just lights up when she sees her. I light up when I see all three of my 'children': B, C and M. (M being the biggest one of them all.) I have been truly blessed to have such a great husband and kids.

Totos tuus,
Mich